


Am I even here?

by thesongofdarkness



Series: Sam is not okay [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hallucifer, POV Sam Winchester, Season/Series 07, Season/Series 09, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 19:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2553374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesongofdarkness/pseuds/thesongofdarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes he doesn't feel real, like he isn't even there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Am I even here?

It feels like I am in somebody's else body.  
I feels like I should do something, but I don't.  
I am constantly torn between caring and not giving a fuck.  
I don't feel real.  
I don't know what to do.  
I am afraid of going to sleep, of never waking up.  
I plaster a smile on my face and try to pretend that I am okay.  
I won't go to sleep.  
I am getting deeper and darker rings under my eyes.  
I won't go to sleep.  
I am afraid that all this is actually a dream.  
What if I never wake up?  
What if I am not actually here?  
What if I have been asleep the whole time and my life is a lie?  
What if I am not even real?  
What if?  
What if I suddenly will stop existing?  
I don't know how much longer I can do this.  
I have started forgetting things, I don't know what is going on..  
Why can't I just wake up?


End file.
